Self-Sabotage
By Peter Salemi
Why do people self-destruct when starting a business or a new project whatever the case maybe? Have you ever wondered why, when people start something, or when things are going well, all of a sudden things just start to unravel till eventually everything is in shambles and the business goes under or a project is abandoned?
Even in relationships. These days’ people, as soon as they get married think that the honeymoon goes on forever, and when tough times come, decide to divorce instead of seeing the marriage through. Why do people self-destruct?
The Number One Reason
There are diverse reasons why these things happen to a majority of people in the marketplace. However there is a way the Bible shows us to plough through the difficulties that lay before us till we get to the place where we want to be, and what we want to achieve.
I believe the number one reason people self-sabotage is because they bump their head on what some call a “stress ceiling.” The “stress ceiling” is a barrier to, as well as the doorway through the next level; and so what happens is, when a person is climbing the ladder of achievement-whatever that maybe, be it financial, fitness, business or relationship achievement, all of a sudden they hit their head on the “stress level ceiling.”
This is the level where a person is about to break through to a new level where new skills are required and the person comes to the realization that he or she doesn’t have those skills to make it on that next level, in fact they don’t even have enough skills yet to make it to that next level and so what people do is they begin to evaluate subconsciously in their automatic mindset and begin to evaluate “how much is this going to cost not just in dollars but also time in becoming that person who can breakthrough and continue in that next level”? So that “stress ceiling” causes people to rethink their whole journey in achievement be it consciously or subconsciously.
Thinking is the hardest thing most people don’t do! What most people do is talk themselves out of being all they can be and more. People look at the comfort zone they have created for themselves and assign a level of difficulty to the next level that makes people feel okay with where they are and justifying not going to the next level.
To break through all people have to do is think, plan and learn, not physically but with their mind, and because thinking is the hardest work most people never do, many people maintain states of physical diligence and work hard with their body so they can maintain a state of mental laziness so they don’t have to use their mind. People will rationalize staying stuck saying “yes well that’s so much harder and it’s not really necessary anyway and besides I’m already doing most of those things anyways.”
But it’s the mind not the body that gets people to the next level, and we human beings need to stop protecting our minds from thinking because “we don’t like how it feels” when learning that next skill set. We need to make our brains start sweating to achieve success! In this life there is no such thing as stagnation; we are either growing or dying, progressing or regressing; saying we are “comfortable” or “I don’t want to be greedy” or be “overly ambitious” are excuses we use to be content to be in whatever state we are in.
“Be Content”?
What does the Bible mean when it says, “be content with your wages” (Luke 3:14) Or, “for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” (Phil 4:11); and this last one, “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have:” (Heb 13:5). Do these passages mean that one should not strive to be the best they can be and be the person God assigned them to be? What if David thought this way? If he did, he would have never become the King of Israel!
King David before he became King of Israel which was God’s assignment for him, worked for a gentile King for a year and 4 months (1 Sam 27:7). The Philistine king gave him a town where he could dwell (1Sam 27:6). There David dwelt with his men, his wives and his men’s wives and they settled and got comfortable and everything was well. Then, “And it came to pass, when David and his men were come to Ziklag on the third day, that the Amalekites had invaded the south, and Ziklag, and smitten Ziklag, and burned it with fire;
“And had taken the women captives, that were therein: they slew not any, either great or small, but carried them away, and went on their way.” (1 Sam 30:1-2).
Why did God allow this?
The scripture says that David and his men, “…lifted up their voice and wept, until they had no more power to weep.” (v.4). David’s men were so distraught that they talked of “stoning him” (v.6).
David and his men were comfortable in their situation and God ordained to burn their comfort zone to the ground! David became stagnant! There was a lack of progression and development. There was little or no change, growth, or activity over that period of time. David and his men thought of living out there days there! God however had other plans! God did not anoint David through Samuel so that David could work for Achish, the King of the Philistines his whole life! God appointed David, to be “king” (1 Sam 16:1) over Israel.
Even today, we see the difficulties that lie ahead, the way David saw the difficulties with Saul and being King, so people decide to dig in their heels and stay where they are! We create a “comfort zone” and not achieve what we are meant to achieve in this life!
So what do those scriptures above mean about being “content”? Does it mean we do not progress? To stay stagnant? Not just physically but spiritually? The apostle Paul believed in progressing, “For this reason let us go on from the first things about Christ to full growth” (Heb 6:1, BBE). Looking at the context of the verses the meaning is to be content with what was “appointed” for you (Luke 3:13), and not to covet what was not yours, “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have:” (Heb 13:5). It has nothing to do with progression and bettering yourself-but covetousness! What about Philippians 4:11? (See below).
Strengthen what is Weak
The “stress ceiling” that we all hit is actually a signal showing us where we can strengthen what is weak on our journey to achievement! It is showing the area of a person’s life in which there’s room for strength to be developed and when one strengthens that area of their life that had no strength, it’s only then can one break through to the next level and then by becoming that person it is the only way one will have the opportunity to stay there and it’ll keep one from destroying the business that they have spent decades building. It’ll keep one from destroying the marriage that they have spent decades building. It’ll keep one from destroying the physical fitness that they have spent years or decades building. It’ll cause one to go on a journey that will break through and add and achieve what God made them to do and rule over their assignment. But in order for people to rule over their assignment they must first learn to rule over themselves by yielding to the king! Receive Christ and then only then will God “worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.” (Phil 2:13) David realized this when all his men were weeping and crying, the scripture says, “but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.” (1 Sam 30:6).
If one does not move on to the next level and stays stagnant as King Saul did, then self-sabotage will occur whether consciously or subconsciously and everything that was created will collapse! So we all must look at the “stress ceiling” as an opportunity to move on to the next level and be what God appointed us to be.
Expectation is Your Superpower
Expectations make our decisions. All achievement goes back to our willingness to decide. If our expectations are disempowered, then our decisions will always be in retreat. Only an empowered expectation will lead to achievement. If people want to advance they have to expect what they want to work-that will give them the ability to do it! If negative then the ability will not be there. Expectation is your greatest superpower and you must believe in the end result of what you want to do. Jesus said, “…all things are possible to him that believeth.” (Mark 9:23).
Most people think that their problem is they don’t know how to do something. God knows that the problem is people don’t know how to expect it! Work on what to expect first, the “how” will come!
One must teach themselves how to expect the outcome. The best example is Jesus Christ. In Hebrews 11 we read the “faith” chapter which continues into chapter 12. It says “Wherefore” (Heb 12:1). Meaning, “therefore” (Strong’s #5105) “In view of what has been said in the previous chapter.” (Barnes’s Notes, emphasis added).
Notice, “…seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,” (v.1). We are “compassed” with all these examples of great men and women of faith in the Bible and how they overcame and achieved what they were meant to achieve.
Paul says, “let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us” Sin is doubt. Don’t let doubt “beset” or stop you from achieving your goals-the “race that is set before us,”
“Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith;” (v.2). Look to Jesus the greatest example of faith, the one who achieved [finisher] the highest purpose one can achieve of overcoming this world “without sin” and became the great sacrifice for the sins of the world. God who had appointed him King of the Universe and will soon come and rule this world with a “rod of Iron.” Being resurrected and sits at this moment as high priest at the right hand of the Father in Heaven. How did he do it? And what was his example?
“who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (v.2). Jesus focused on the expectation-on God’s promises as though the problems (the cross, shame) were not even there-God’s promises are sure! If your ability to expect it to work is greater than the problem-You already won! Set the expectation before you, focus on it, and the problems that come you will plow through and endure with strength and endurance. Know that God’s promises are firm and cannot be broken. This will give one the strength to “Run so as to win the prize… run without swerving;” (1 Cor 9:24, 26 Moffat NT). “run without swerving” any obstacle on your journey plow through, focus on the expectation and you will achieve all that you set your heart on!
This is what Paul meant in Philippians 4:11. “Not that I complain of want, for I have learned how to be content wherever I am.
“I know how to live humbly; I also know how to live in prosperity. I have been initiated into the secret for all sorts and conditions of life, for plenty and for hunger, for prosperity and for privations.
“In him who strengthens me I am able for anything.” (Phil 4:11-13 Moffat NT).
The Apostle Paul was speaking of outside conditions that affected his journey to do the work, and he was content no matter what obstacle that came his way because he stood on the promises of God! And he told the Philippians to do the same, “My God will supply all your own needs from his wealth in Glory in Christ Jesus.” (v.19). He “will” supply your needs in whatever obstacle that comes-so be content in the situation that comes and have faith!
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